the wig/yeti incident

my mother has had a thing for wigs her whole life. she's naturally a redhead, but i have seen photos of her wearing a black afro wig in the pool, holding my brother gonzo in the early seventies. she's had long curly wigs that i have totally used for halloween, probably before i realized that not everyone's mom had a closet full of hairpieces.

one summer when i was about four, my mom and i went to disneyland with my aunt who was 9 months pregnant (actually this was her due date) and my cousin who is a year younger than i. my mother happened to be wearing a wig, black in color i believe, and a muumuu. we all decided to go on the matterhorn. for those who have never been to disneyland, it's rollercoaster that's inside a fake mountain, and there is a mechanical yeti or abominable snowman inside that you zoom past, practically ricocheting off of him while he growls. he attacks you in the dark all along the ride (meaning you can see glowing eyes and hear echoey canned growling). it's pretty much the best thing on the face of the earth.

well, when we went on the ride, the velocity of the rollercoaster actually ripped off my mother's wig, and it went flying off, seemingly into oblivion. when she realized what had happened, she shrieked and clutched her head in dismay.

when we came out of the ride, my mother was relating the upsetting news to my aunt. suddenly a young female japanese tourist inched forward pinching the wig between her fingers as if it were a poisonous serpent. she said, "is this yours?" with a contorted, terrified expression. the wig had apparently hit her directly in the face during the rollercoaster ride. realizing that this had probably been a terrifying experience for her considering there had been a yeti chasing us during the ride, my aunt began laughing hysterically. unable to stop, she went into labor. my mother was mortified and snatched the wig from the poor girl. and then she drove my aunt to the hospital. unfortunately all of the exits were closed on the freeway, which only made my aunt laugh even harder, which in turn annoyed my mother. but luckily they somehow made it in time.