the sorority

i went to byu, and there are no sororities at byu. unless you count the relief society, which is also very important. but as for real sororities, there is none.

but that didn't stop us. cicada, bex and i decided to create a sorority our freshman year. it was called "kappa kappa kappa kappa kappa kappa kappa phi." and we were the tri-presidency. in order to recruit members, we took turns sitting at a bench/table near the quad with a sign-up sheet. after getting their contact information, we then sent out informative emails introducing ourselves. well, not so much introducing ourselves as creating completely false biographies with very questionable details. then we asked them to tell us a little about themselves.

we then proceeded to reject every person who responded. and then recruited more people to reject the next day.

this was going along fine, until one day my roommate whom we'll call slug, found out what we had been doing. she was delighted, but then decided to play a little trick on cicada. she submitted an email explaining a little about herself to the tri-presidency of kappa kappa kappa kappa kappa kappa kappa phi. she detailed her pathetic life as a friendless student at byu struggling with cancer. she expressed her heartfelt gratitude for finally being able to find some new friends.

cicada was distraught. she didn't know what to do. she thought maybe we should let this one slide under the wire. bex and i, knowing the truth, were ruthless in our rejection. we told cicada to cut this one loose. we couldn't be suffering charity cases to ruin our sorority.

then we told her it was only slug.

and the sorority continued on its merry way for a time...