breach of privacy

in the summer of my sophomore year in college something quite interesting happened. it involved my first kiss, and an experiment which also happened to be a breach of privacy.

i was living in a beautiful house with my friends whom we'll call poprocks and delroxy. one night, poprocks and i were at a built to spill show and were really having a good time. suddenly there was a boy next to me who started a conversation. i had seem him around because of mutual friends, but what ended up being really strange was that he was my father's student. he and the other boy he was with were electrical engineering students at byu, and were currently taking classes from my father.

this wasn't the last we saw of these two boys, whom we'll call kimball and bucko. two days later, poprocks and i were pulling into the albertson's parking lot when she noticed that bucko was in the vehicle right behind us. he and a friend got out and followed us into the store. we said hi, and he invited us to hang out that night. thus began a few nights hanging out with kimball and bucko.

here was the tricky part: poprocks and i couldn't figure out what was going on. we knew that they liked us. but we didn't know if both liked both, or if one liked one, or both liked one...or what. here is an example of their behavior:

the original plan was that the four of us would hang out after kimball was done with his band practice. but bucko called before that and said that he and i could go out to get something to eat beforehand. skeptically, and confused, i agreed. while i was gone, kimball called the house and spoke with poprocks. he asked for me, but poprocks said i had gone with bucko for some food. kimball said, "she's with bucko? well...where are they?" (this behavior was especially confusing since it was practically verified that kimball had a girlfriend that was out of town for the summer.) perhaps the most confusing thing was the fact that they didn't seem to know what the other was thinking despite their friendship.

we simply didn't know what these boys were thinking. poprocks and i told the situation to our friend cicada. cicada is wise. she matter-of-factly asked, "why don't you tape record their private conversation?" poprocks and i looked at eachother. what??? uh, how would we do that? cicada succinctly explained that we merely needed to hide a running hand-held tape recorder in a car, take them both in the car somewhere where i would run a quick errand, leaving them in the car alone. she said it couldn't fail, that they would almost certainly start talking about me, and the whole situation.

the three of us ran to walmart immediately, it being about 1 am. i purchased a small hand-held taperecorder. the plan was going to work.

later that week i was at bucko's apartment with kimball, burning cds. since i drove a sweet '77 cadillac, getting them to want to ride in my car was easy. i told them we should run to albertson's (about a block away) so i could get some batteries and they could ride in the car. they agreed. i managed to get to my car a little ahead of them so i could turn on the tape recorder and hide it between the two front seats. everything went according to plan.

that night i listened to the tape. the first part was our conversation while driving to the store, but as soon as i had left to get the batteries, there was a brief silence, and then the dirt.


bucko: "dude, i feel like crap. you'll never believe what happened the night
before she knocked on my door..."

kimball: "girlfriend call?"

bucko: "yeah...basically. she called. she knew she was...like, i called tasha on sunday night like really late, like after kellyroxanne went home. she's like, 'what'd you do tonight?' and i'm just like, 'uh, nothing.' and she was like, she said she was figuring i was hanging out with kellyroxanne that night."

kimball: "how'd she know?"

bucko: "something clued her in. cause i said, 'nothing,' you know, and basically lied, and so she found out. and she was like, 'i gotta go, i gotta go.'

kimball: "she found out?"

bucko: "yeah, like, i told her right away that kellyroxanne was coming over, and she was like, 'i gotta go.' she kind of flipped out on me a little bit."

kimball: "did you tell her that i was over there too?"

bucko: "yeah, but she's just kind of having a hard time..."

kimball: (laughing awkwardly) "tell her i like her."

bucko: "she knows that i...kinda like her."

kimball: "does she know? did you tell her?"

bucko: "yeah...i told her i think she's really cool. she knows...i mean, just by saying, she knows i'm interested in the girl, i mean, you know? dude, it sucks, i'm almost like tempted to just can the whole thing just cause i don't want to put up with that, you know?"

kimball: "put up with...?"

bucko: "i don't want to have to deal with like tasha...being all bummed out and...i don't know. but like, what am i supposed to do, like when her missionary comes home, you know?"

kimball: "did you bring that one up?"

(inaudible muttering as i approach the car)

bucko: "...she is a weird-a** girl."

and that was the illegally obtained information we got. imagine my glee, shock, and amusement as i listened to this tape when i got home that night. unfortunately, i used this information to mess with bucko's mind occasionally. i told him i had a feeling that he hung out with other girls, or that he liked someone else. he looked at me with these really terrified eyes. our short-lived relationship lasted only a few weeks, and he was my first kiss. but the truly most valuable thing i gained from that experience was the satisfaction of having successfully carried out cicada's marvelous, illegal scheme.