tommy boy

i am still finishing a different story, but will need to do some research in order to complete it accurately. in the meantime, this is about someone very special: my step-father, aka tommy boy.

tommy boy is an individual whom can only be described by the stories produced by him. thus, i am including here some old favorites, vignettes if you will.

the fire
tommy boy very much enjoys cleaning things with powerful chemicals. thoro and bleach are some of his favorites, but nothing compares with gasoline. one day, tommy boy decided to clean our gas stove-- with gasoline. as he was applying his gasoline-soaked rag to the range, a huge fireball shot through the kitchen. this explosion set the kitchen table, the floor, and tommy boy on fire. my mother was taking a nap when she heard tommy boy yelling for her to call the fire department. she did so. four firetrucks came to put out the blaze. no one was seriously injured although tommy boy's eyebrows and arm hair had been singed off. the kitchen linoleum however had gone to a bitter end.

the lawnmower
perhaps the only thing tommy boy enjoys as much as dangerous chemicals is mowing the lawn. tommy boy likes to mow the lawn while listening to his headphones on AM radio as loud as it goes. this is his main form of exercise as well, and thus very important for everyone involved. one day as tommy boy was mowing the lawn, something got stuck in the lawnmower. without hesitation, tommy boy reached in under the lawnmower to remove the offending item; however, as he had done so without turning the lawnmower off, he instead split his fingers on the lawnmower blades and had to be rushed to the emergency room.

the sewing machine
before retiring and while my mother and tommy boy were only dating, he owned a family shoe store and factory. in the factory section of his business, there were many sewing machines with large needles that were used to penetrate the leather of shoes. as he was having a conversation with my mother, he happened to put his hand down on the sewing machine. his hand, positioned right below the giant needle, was quickly punctured between his thumb and pointer finger. luckily, most at the hospital are quite familiar with tommy boy by now, and he received a warm welcome.

stay tuned. this is only the physical ailment section from before 1995.